Ebb and flow

Its funny, how after years of swimming against the tide, what you are working towards starts to fall into place. It’s like a check box, ticking off all the items you have completed. I am finally working with the Universe instead of fighting it.

I liken it to the seven stages of grief.

• Stage one: shock and denial – the car accidents, the difficult experiences at work and other life issues were hard to deal with. I could not get my head around what was happening or even understand why.
• Stage two: pain and guilt – have to admit my health did take a hit, both physically and mentally. Still dealing with the physical ailments. After four car accidents that’s really no surprise but mentally I am in the best place I have ever been in.
• Stage three: anger and bargaining – oh yeah. I was very angry. So jacked off at the idiot drivers who caused the accidents and all the ramifications that followed. To say I had short fuse is certain. I still get annoyed with idiot drivers but the anger isn’t there anymore.
• Stage four: depression, reflection, loneliness – it annoys me when people deny being depressed especially as is it obvious they are struggling. And yes, I have been depressed. You get help, work through it and don’t let it control your life.
• Stage five: the upward turn – it has been a very slow journey but only in the last few years, despite my experience at work, I began to enjoy life again.
• Stage six: reconstruction & working through – this is an ongoing process because I am still learning about me.
• Stage seven: acceptance & hope – this is where I am now and it is a great feeling. I no long feel anxious and nor am worried about the next knock back because my turn has arrived. It’s only a matter of time.

Just like the ebb and flow of the ocean, life goes on. I have accepted I can change my life and direction and the Universe is helping me get there.